COMBAT ELEMENTS @ The Turn Up Open Mic, Vol. 20
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I haven’t performed a poem onstage since middle school.
That sentence feels really crazy to type considering how much of my adult life has been built around words. I’ve written them privately then transformed them into books, blogs, essays, captions, and entire fictional worlds. But I feel there's deep intimacy in saying your own words aloud in a packed room where you actively watch and feel as others engage with your most vulnerable, sacred parts.
So of course, me being me, when I decided I might sign up for The Turn Up Open Mic and read from Lavender Heart Tea, I started thinking about what I wanted to wear. And I immediately landed on combat. A little dramatic for an open mic? Perhaps. But let me cook.
The Style: Combat
Combat clothing wasn’t created with fashion in mind. Its foundations are practical: garments are designed for movement, durability, protection, and plenty of pockets and compartments. The heavy boots, military jackets, camouflage, webbing, and belts all have pivotal jobs. Fashion eventually became interested in that utility. Military style has been borrowed and reinterpreted across decades, appearing everywhere from counterculture and punk to streetwear and designer collections. Once removed from uniform, those same details can communicate rebellion, structure, toughness, even theatricality. That’s something that really makes combat an interesting style language to me. It looks like you’ve arrived prepared for something. And technically, I did. I had a poem to read; two actually.
The Turn Up, Literally
Torch Literary Arts' The Turn Up Open Mic gives local artists something increasingly valuable: a room to try something in front of other people. And there's no hiding behind the finished product at an open mic. The words have to leave the page. Immediately when I saw the event posting, I knew it was time. I had spent so much time focusing on creation and production: books on various servers and shelves, no broken links on webpages, and structurally built blogs and images to name a few. But an open mic lets you witness the other vital part: The attempt. The courage. The belief in all the hard work and sweat shed to bring it to fruition. And this time, I didn't just want to watch others bare their hearts. I wanted to share mine too.
As I prepared, it brought me back to my middle school days. For some reason, I had decided to enter the 7th grade poetry reading contest. Everyone I knew was shocked. Hell, so was I! Growing up, I was a very reserved and shy kid and doing something like this was totally out of my comfort zone. I tried to resist the unknown urge, but before I knew it, I had placed my name on the list and it was on! And there was no backing out.
Woman Work
I ultimately decided to perform Maya Angelou’s “Woman Work.” And would you believe I won first place?! I remember the victory vividly, but reflecting now feels much different than it did then. There was a young Black girl standing in front of her peers and educators, learning how to inhabit the language of a highly established, profound Black woman writer.
And somewhere between that stage and this one, I became a writer myself.
I wrote the book. I published it. Then I kept writing. My work has expanded from poetry and personal reflection into speculative fiction and essays about style, culture, authenticity, healing, Black experiences, and becoming. The subjects have shifted, but the instinct underneath remains: I’m still interested in what happens when we sit still long enough to vulnerably give language to the things happening within.
What We Carry
And this is where combat style re-enters the chat. Through utility. Combat garments are designed around the question: What do you need to carry with you?
I’ve been carrying words for a very long time. Some belonging to writers who helped me understand what language could do. Some became the short stories and poems in Lavender Heart Tea. Others are becoming characters, worlds, essays, and whatever else I haven’t written yet. There are also pieces of that middle-school girl still packed in there somewhere—the one who learned a poem, walked onto a stage, and apparently had enough nerve to perform it well enough to win.
I don’t remember whether she was scared or how she prepped the eve of. And maybe that’s useful. Because all these years later, I don’t need to recreate her confidence or prove that I’m fearless enough to take a microphone. I just have to bring what I’ve collected since the last time I stood there.
The life. The writing. The point of view. The work.
And luckily for me, combat style just so happened to have plenty of pockets.
The Keesh Edit: Sometimes the things we did before we knew who we were becoming leave clues. Middle-school me learned how to stand onstage with the words of a profound Black woman writer. She couldn’t have known that one day, she’d return as one herself.
SHOP THE LOOK
Until next time.
From My Bookshelf to Yours
Lavender Heart Tea — LaKeshia Williams
Published in 2021, Lavender Heart Tea is a collection of poetry and reflections about healing, heartbreak, self-discovery, and becoming. I’ve carried these poems in book form for years. For The Turn Up, I’m taking two back to where poetry began for me:
out loud.
BEFORE YOU GO: Carry authenticity with you. Explore my Healing is Not Linear Notebook Collection—designed for readers, creatives, and anyone becoming themselves.