GRUNGE @ The Turn Up Open Mic, Vol. 23
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Hey y'all! I hope this message finds you well.
Take an aligned leap. Then do it again. And I'll bet the second time around will feel even sweeter!
Last month when I stepped onto the stage at Torch's The Turn Up Open Mic, I had a little history to contend with. I hadn’t performed poetry publicly since middle school; bravely standing before my adolescent peers with the profound words of Maya Angelou’s Woman Work and somehow managing to walk away with first place. And all these years later, I was returning to a microphone with words that belonged to me.
And guess what? I went back again. Did I still quiver a bit when I heard my name called to come forth? Yep. Did I look amongst the crowd as I introduced myself and wondered if my art would translate and resonate with at least one of them? Absolutely! But now, this is my thing. I'm owning this terrifyingly natural progression as an author, poet. The scribe and the voice. The editor and the performer.
At my last ATX Book Fair appearance as a patron eagerly flipped through the pages of my book, she inquired if I did live poetry readings. And it felt damn good to say yes with a smile. It was such a small exchange, but there was so much vulnerable history enmeshed within it. I wasn’t describing the writer I one day hoped to be. I had already stood on a stage, opened Lavender Heart Tea, and let my own voice carry words that once only existed between me, the pages and the loved ones that had purchased. And it really got me thinking. Becoming is sometimes just that simple: doing something once, then choosing to do it again. And again. Until it becomes commonplace, engraved within; morphing a once foreign terrain into a space you confidently belong.
BE TRUE TO YOU
But of course, we gotta discuss the look of the night. For this return to the mic, I landed on Grunge style.
According to The Style Thesaurus, grunge emerged from the Pacific Northwest music scene of the late 1980s and early ’90s, with a visual language that wasn’t particularly interested in being polished: flannel, band tees, worn denim, combat boots, layers and thrifted pieces that felt lived in rather than carefully styled. It was music first and fashion almost by accident. And I love that sentiment. Grunge wasn’t originally about dressing for any particular gaze. The clothes reflected the people wearing them—their music, their environment, their rejection of what was expected. Eventually, fashion caught up, taking something born outside its traditional boundaries and sending versions of it down runways. But beneath all that cultural history is an idea I keep returning to: Be true to you.
THE PRACTICE OF RETURNING
All in all, what matters most to me right now is that I’m building a healthy relationship with the stage again. I self-published Lavender Heart Tea in 2021, but of course, books never stop living once they’re printed. I’ve carried mine to markets and put it into strangers’ hands, breathlessly watching as they flip through its pages. And now I’m learning what happens when I actually give my poems breath, rhythm, and animation. When I first released, I tried my hand in various types of promoting, including, cold marketing and sporadic social media posts, but I was still heavily grieving the life of mine that was no more after my divorce. But I'm a firm believer that everything happens as it should, with inspired action. And I'm now in a much better space mentally, physically, and spiritually and I'm ready.
Intentionally allowing myself to be visible is something I want to continue. Something I WILL continue. In all the ways that feel most authentic for me. And there’s a drastically different intimacy in reading your own work aloud. Allowing myself to pause naturally. Knowing which words still catch somewhere in my chest. I know what the poem meant when I wrote it, and I get to discover what it means now—with years of living between the woman who brokenly wrote those lines and the woman boldly standing at the microphone. And every time I return, the stage becomes a little less like somewhere I’m visiting and a little more like home. And when it was my turn to turn up at the mic again, the crowd vibed and I felt seen; affirmed. There's no shame in grief when you weave it graciously into gold.
And guess what? I'll be back..again and again until it's not even a question of did I go? But what you got for us tonight, girl? *snap, snap.*
READINGS FROM LAVENDER HEART TEA
Explore more Lavender Heart Tea live readings here.
THE LOOK
SHOP THE NOTE
SHOP THE NOTE
Style: Grunge
Key references: Oversized flannels, distressed denim, band tees, slip dresses, combat boots, layered textures, plaid, and unconventional silhouettes.
The approach: Exploring grunge’s rebellious, anti-fashion roots through relaxed silhouettes, contrasting textures, and unexpected combinations while embracing individuality and the freedom to dress without convention.
THE KEESH EDIT
Becoming isn’t always marked by a dramatic before and after. It could simply be the realization that the thing you were once brave enough to try again and again progressively becomes you. The first time was a return. This time felt like practice. And I’m curious to see what happens when I keep showing up.
FROM MY BOOKSHELF TO YOURS
Lavender Heart Tea by LaKeshia T. Williams
This time, the book leaving my shelf is my own. Lavender Heart Tea is a collection born from healing, reflection and the complicated work of becoming. Lately, I’ve been experiencing these poems beyond words I once wrote, but as words I’m learning to give back to an audience through my own voice. Some books are meant to sit with you. Others are meant to be spoken. Apparently, this one gets to do both.
BEFORE YOU GO
Style Notes is also about giving clothes—and ourselves—room for another iteration. Through Keesh A La Mode, I curate pieces looking for their next story, whether styled as intended or completely reimagined by whoever finds it next. You can shop my curated closets on Poshmark and Depop.
Until next time.
